When I go to an art museum, I want to see the craziest shit they can throw at me. I like looking at the old paintings and seeing the layers of paint and admiring the talent that went into it, but throw something titled Red #2 or Untitled and shit is about to get real. I want to have to figure out if there is actually art there or not. I want to look at the goddamn wall and think it’s art and have the curator tell me that it’s just a wall. I want the curator to tell me a dick joke and then tell me it’s part of an art exhibit. I want to eat pasta and look at paintings of absolutely nothing.
When I was in grad school, my mom came out to visit me in New York and we went to MOMA. They had this huge inflatable sculpture made out of like mesh cloth that was kind of shaped like an abstract castle. For some reason (drugs) we just assumed it was an interactive installation. We took our shoes off very respectfully, went in, and started jumping around. The security guard who came to get us out was trying very hard to be stern but could not stop laughing.