Went to a beach with some friends and wasn’t able to wash my feet off before getting in the car. The car had rubber mats and I just had to hover my feet above it but even that was miserable. I don’t remember being so bothered by textures as a kid, it often feels like that symptom has gotten so much worse. The car ride was only 10 ish minutes but it felt like forever and I had to hold back tears for a good portion of it.

Now I am isolating myself from everyone and my girlfriend is bringing me food from the kitchen. Everyone other than my girlfriend thinks I have a headache. Idk what I’d do without her. The sourdough toast and stardew valley are making me feel better as well.

Idk how to end this I just needed to get it out yk?

  • EllenKelly [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    14·
    2 months ago

    I,ve recently noticed that i get so much more conscious of bad textures (and other things) when my mental health is real low (stressed to the gills or something) ive recently had to ask my partner to stop touching me after their hands felt uncomfortable on my skin, and it feels like shit.

    but dont beat yourself up over it, i hope you can at least laugh about it with your partner soon. Im glad theyre looking after you.

    Fuck the beach

    • EllenKelly [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      9·
      2 months ago

      I also find it helpful (with friends and people i trust) to just say when I’m struggling with something that feels silly, its not always easy to do, but even a lighthearted ‘hey gang im about to say the most autistic thing ever, but i need a different spoon’

      😅

      • ComradeSharkfuckerOPEnglish
        9·
        2 months ago

        I normally would but I am with my girlfriends extended family who I just fucking know would infantilize me if they knew I was on the spectrum so I don’t feel comfortable bringing it up

        • EllenKelly [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
          7·
          2 months ago

          Totally understandable, my condolences, I bet your parter appreciates you making the effort to be there

          I dealt with a lot of family events in my past with alcoholism, so you just having some downtime is pretty admirable imo

          • ComradeSharkfuckerOPEnglish
            7·
            2 months ago

            Lol, my girlfriends stepmom has been sneaking me weed here and there. Very cool of her, typically though some alone time, games, and snacks is enough