• alyth@lemmy.world
      2·
      4 months ago

      I just can’t bend it that way in my mind. It’s in my toilet’s nature to swallow my shit, and I need it as much as it needs me. I’ll forgive it the occasional unsolicited comment.

        • Jax@sh.itjust.works
          31·
          4 months ago

          Well, if it has a tongue that means it probably developed alongside us evolutionarily - right?

          Like this is no longer “your toilet is possessed by someone with a scat fetish”. Not if it has a tongue, that means this is a biological creature that lives off of our shit. Considering the value feces has in regards to replenishing nutrients in soil, we should probably consider these toilets some kind of parisitic - or more accurately symbiotic being. Sort of like a mimic, only it eats your shit.

          Why did I think of this? Why would I take the time to use my precious fucking neurons conjuring up the beginnings of “shit eating mimic” taxonomy? Well, you asked “What if it has a tongue…”. The answer is that you would probably be used to it, and it would probably lick your asshole.

          You did this. I want you to know this is your fault.