Kinda sounds like an onion headline

This is the best summary I could come up with:

Around Mr. Biden, a siege mentality has set in for a team that remembers — and is fond of repeating — how it outlasted the doubters four years ago to win the nomination in the first place.

As the president huddled with his family at Camp David in recent days, his advisers rushed to keep in line any potential prominent wayward Democrats who might abandon their party’s leader.

This spring, Mr. Biden’s top brass pressed for the earliest general-election debate in history, as a way to force voters to sooner accept the reality of a Trump-Biden rematch that polls have repeatedly showed they do not want.

“The gift Joe Biden gave us was agreeing to a debate before the convention,” said Jon Favreau, a former speechwriter for President Barack Obama and the co-host of the popular progressive podcast Pod Save America who has called for the party to consider replacing him.

On Monday, Vogue unveiled its newest cover, featuring Dr. Biden wearing a $5,000 white Ralph Lauren tuxedo dress alongside the words: “We will decide our future.”

But as early as late 2021, the White House physician had noticed a change, observing more frequent and severe “throat clearing” and a gait that was “perceptibly stiffer” than a year earlier.

The original article contains 1,658 words, the summary contains 209 words. Saved 87%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!

Guys. Shit is completely fucked.

Are we sure this isn’t a “Weekend at Bidens” type of not blinking?

Quick, fetch Antony 😉

To be fair, I don’t think he can. /jk