It changed my entire being. It disconnecting me from everything, emotions, people, and mostly myself. Today I am more mindful. I have gained some much needed emotional intelligence, and most of all I gained some perspective. I’m still putting my life back together, but I’m just really appreciative that I get to experience anything at all, any emotion, anything. Anything past dead is gravy for me. I wouldn’t trade my shitty experience for the world.

The fentanyl crisis is a natural evolution. Stronger cheaper easier to manufacture. I think it’s mostly a cause of a broken education and criminal justice system. Prohibition never worked. Give the people something safe to use, offer them treatment. They’re gonna do it anyway.

The scariest thing that came along with fentanyl is the vet tranquilizer that they cut it with. Since fent does not last as long and is not as euphoric, the tranquilizer is added to make it last longer and feel heavier. It causes all types of issues in your body. Swollen limbs, sleep standing, nodding out on limbs can cause permanent nerve damage. It’s just super dangerous all around.

Look, I could only use fentanyl after a certain point. Heroin wouldn’t even get me well. I’ve always practiced pretty good harm reduction tactics, but by the time I made the transition to fentanyl, it was nearly impossible for me to OD. I actually never ODed by common definition. Always kept intra muscular AND intranasal Naloxone on hand. New syringe everytime (usually eek).

But yea it was a constant worry. I would do “allergy tests” before main dose. I guess I got lucky.

Most people OD after they get clean. Out of jail/rehab etc, but I NEVER got clean besides for that last time. I knew coming out if I fucked around, I’d def find out with the stuff on the street today.