My advice to anyone reading, and wanting to be okay in being wrong, the first step is admitting you don’t know something. Even if it’s something you should know. For example if you’re considered to be an “expert” or at least very knowledgeable about something and someone asks you about that specific thing, but it’s not something you know, avoid making things up, or trying to derive an answer from what you do know. Explain that you’re not sure what the right answer is, but you’ll figure it out, then do some research to figure it out. Don’t go off the cuff and start informing people of what you presume it is based on what you know, without knowing for sure.
The next step is when someone contradicts what you believe to be true, hear them out, then do whatever lookups and research you need to figure out if they’re right, or you’re right. Don’t immediately tell them they’re wrong, just listen, then find the truth and go from there.
The other thing I do, is I stay away from absolute statements as much as I can. Instead of saying that this thing I know is absolute and true, I preface it with qualifying statements like “I believe…” Eg, “I believe you need to use that switch over there to do the thing” rather than “use that switch to do the thing”. If you’re wrong then it was qualified as an uncertainty which can make a correction sting that much less.
Finally, always pursue the truth above all else. The point shouldn’t be whether you are right or wrong, the point is getting and giving true information to/from others. When getting seemingly true information from someone, trust but verify anything you’re told before passing that information along, whenever possible.
Always be learning, always be seeking the truth, always verify the statements of others. After a while, you’ll find that you’re right far more often than when you’re wrong… Having that kind of track record will help in your ability to handle the times that you’re found to be wrong and you’ll have a much easier time with it.
The whole thing is a process, so don’t beat yourself up over it. You will falter and catch yourself doing things wrong and making assumptions and providing information you later determine to be wrong. It will happen. Learn the correct information and move forward. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
There’s a ton more that I could say on the matter, but I think that’s the core points.
For me, I got a huge wake-up call while working at a large software provider doing end user support. I went to the escalation team and asked them about a problem, and they asked me about some of the details, when I provided them, they questioned “did you verify this? Or did you just take the customers word for it?”… I didn’t verify the information. They sent me back to verify the situation before they would engage on the matter, and IIRC, it ended up being one of the assumptions that the end user, or I made, which wasn’t configured correctly, that caused the problem. I managed to avoid needing escalation. From then on, “trust but verify” was a constant mantra. I’ve been growing and learning ever since.
Also…it might just be me, but I find that I subconsciously have more respect for a person, both as a person and as a reliable source of information, if they present things with qualification, as you suggest. To me, it’s a sign of humility and an indication of an appreciation for the complexity of any given subject if someone is knowledgeable enough to both field questions and demonstrate proficiency while also being careful to qualify and delineate between what’s fact, what’s generally accepted, what’s their understanding, and what’s their opinion or guess.
I listened to a podcast last year about TOP GUN instructors and the grueling process they go through to become subject matter experts in their specific subject, and one of the things that stuck out to me was that they’re less worried about being right all the time and more worried about three qualities: being knowledgeable, approachable, and humble…with the understanding that with those three qualities, you’re going to eventually get to the point where you’re almost always right, with the added benefit that you’ve trained yourself to remove ego from the equation, so you’re less likely to fall prey to the trap of clinging to bad information/belief/assumption just because you want to look correct.
You’re hitting on every point I could make.
My advice to anyone reading, and wanting to be okay in being wrong, the first step is admitting you don’t know something. Even if it’s something you should know. For example if you’re considered to be an “expert” or at least very knowledgeable about something and someone asks you about that specific thing, but it’s not something you know, avoid making things up, or trying to derive an answer from what you do know. Explain that you’re not sure what the right answer is, but you’ll figure it out, then do some research to figure it out. Don’t go off the cuff and start informing people of what you presume it is based on what you know, without knowing for sure.
The next step is when someone contradicts what you believe to be true, hear them out, then do whatever lookups and research you need to figure out if they’re right, or you’re right. Don’t immediately tell them they’re wrong, just listen, then find the truth and go from there.
The other thing I do, is I stay away from absolute statements as much as I can. Instead of saying that this thing I know is absolute and true, I preface it with qualifying statements like “I believe…” Eg, “I believe you need to use that switch over there to do the thing” rather than “use that switch to do the thing”. If you’re wrong then it was qualified as an uncertainty which can make a correction sting that much less.
Finally, always pursue the truth above all else. The point shouldn’t be whether you are right or wrong, the point is getting and giving true information to/from others. When getting seemingly true information from someone, trust but verify anything you’re told before passing that information along, whenever possible.
Always be learning, always be seeking the truth, always verify the statements of others. After a while, you’ll find that you’re right far more often than when you’re wrong… Having that kind of track record will help in your ability to handle the times that you’re found to be wrong and you’ll have a much easier time with it.
The whole thing is a process, so don’t beat yourself up over it. You will falter and catch yourself doing things wrong and making assumptions and providing information you later determine to be wrong. It will happen. Learn the correct information and move forward. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
There’s a ton more that I could say on the matter, but I think that’s the core points.
For me, I got a huge wake-up call while working at a large software provider doing end user support. I went to the escalation team and asked them about a problem, and they asked me about some of the details, when I provided them, they questioned “did you verify this? Or did you just take the customers word for it?”… I didn’t verify the information. They sent me back to verify the situation before they would engage on the matter, and IIRC, it ended up being one of the assumptions that the end user, or I made, which wasn’t configured correctly, that caused the problem. I managed to avoid needing escalation. From then on, “trust but verify” was a constant mantra. I’ve been growing and learning ever since.
More great points, I agree.
Also…it might just be me, but I find that I subconsciously have more respect for a person, both as a person and as a reliable source of information, if they present things with qualification, as you suggest. To me, it’s a sign of humility and an indication of an appreciation for the complexity of any given subject if someone is knowledgeable enough to both field questions and demonstrate proficiency while also being careful to qualify and delineate between what’s fact, what’s generally accepted, what’s their understanding, and what’s their opinion or guess.
I listened to a podcast last year about TOP GUN instructors and the grueling process they go through to become subject matter experts in their specific subject, and one of the things that stuck out to me was that they’re less worried about being right all the time and more worried about three qualities: being knowledgeable, approachable, and humble…with the understanding that with those three qualities, you’re going to eventually get to the point where you’re almost always right, with the added benefit that you’ve trained yourself to remove ego from the equation, so you’re less likely to fall prey to the trap of clinging to bad information/belief/assumption just because you want to look correct.