Two weeks ago, I had a date with a girl I met through a dating app. She was really nice, we had a great conversation and she told in person at the bar she would love to see me again.

Well fast forward a week, I keep texting her to set something up, but she’s not responding. I think she’s ghosted me. I mean, that’s fine, but if you don’t want to date me anymore, then just let me know. I will respect your decision.

Dating is so frustrating sometimes… It’s really fucking hard and I sometimes feel lonely because of my lack of success. I have a good job and I’m a nice guy… but eh… I digress.

  • fadedmaster@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    I met my wife dating online. Before that it was brutal. Lots of ignored messages. Lots of messaging that just ended (often on the woman’s end, but sometimes on my end). And plenty of first dates.

    When I first started dating I wasn’t picky. Basically any girl interested in me, I’d show interest. Eventually I actually applied myself to dating with purpose. This helped a bit as I was often times being the one to make the decision whether or not to even meet up with a woman. I made sure they met my criteria and wanted the same things as I did. And doing this required that I was honest with myself. I didn’t want to party, I wanted children, I wanted someone who would challenge me and call me out on my bullshit, but I also needed someone who wasn’t overly sensitive as I am often quite blunt and speak without thinking.

    Basically I had to shift from wasting my time with anyone to getting right to the point and making sure our values and trajectories in life aligned. This filtered out a lot of women. Either immediately because we didn’t want the same things or because they were put off by my directness.

    • ShelobsWeb@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      This is my experience as well. Being picky and only dating people with your time and effort actually increases success.

    • KingStrafeIV@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      This is a great point. I think especially men approach dating as a quantity game, when really it should be a quality game.