I guess I’m presupposing that you might have other qualities that are attractive or that your partner of choice isn’t incredibly shallow (the latter might be asking too much i guess).

It’s not shallow to pick a more attractive or financially stable date to meet if you have limited information. We’re not talking about moving from a short-term to a long-term relationship, we’re talking about the barriers of entry to meeting with someone in a romantic context.

Also this is all neoliberal “everything is a market” internalized bullshit. You are not in competition with every other guy/gal on the planet when it comes to love.

I don’t like that capitalism has commodified dating to the point that it is a competition with the millions of people around me. Love is not a market but dating and most avenues to meet are markets. When I go to a local furry convention, I can usually hookup with people out of my league. This is because I’m a top in an environment that is compromised of mostly bottoms. But when I go on grindr at my local city, I’m just another guy. Your competition in the environment affects your success. It’s not fatalistic, but the macro trends influence how you do in the micro.

I know it sucks that humans are animals and beholden to our unconscious, but it is reality.