Hello to my friends from Lemmy, the title may be misleading to some.

Long story short, I was in a relationship for a bit over 2 years and I broke up with her recently. I blocked her everywhere, and initially struggled with not thinking about her and our relationship all the time, but now I find it hard to think. Although I have coped and detached very well, it seems that I have nothing to think of, and if I’m not spending my time on entertainment or studying (e.g. in the car) I resort to thinking about my relationship again. It’s been making me really unproductive and I’m not even sure what I was like when I was single.

It’s not that I am obsessed with “her” or feeling anything, but I can’t focus on nothing - it seems that my mental resources keep running and forcing me to concentrate on something. But I don’t want to think of “her” again. The past few days I often thought of “her” sexually romantically or as physically present, but now I often stress about the relationship itself and question all the decisions I may have made in the relationship. I mean I’ve considered actions and things that happened in my relationship in a productive way but I keep on going back to thinking of those things again (which isn’t helpful at all).

Does anyone have advice on how I can sit and focus productively or even neutrally, instead of trying to rethink and overthink a relationship that I’ve already thought of.

Edit: if you want further info about the relationship itself, https://lemmy.world/post/727078

  • Tangentism
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    You’re not pining for her, you’re pining for how you felt when you were with her.

    Something I’ve done after any relationship ends is to set myself a few challenges that get me completely out of my comfort zone and don’t allow me the headspace to pine.

    It also helps you to relearn who you are and where your boundaries lie.

    Good luck!