I want to meet people around my age who I can spend lots of time with either romantically or just friends or something. I have recently just turned 21 years old and I have never really dated anyone in real life or even kissed anyone. I don’t have a job, I don’t drive and I still live with my parents. I am really just a talentless fool trying to be some sort of artist and taking community college classes without any real idea or direction in life. Am I even deserving of love and friendship here in the 21st century? I want to be a better person but I don’t know if I have the strength to become who I want to really be on my own. Being socially isolated for so long has really affected my mind a lot and how I view myself. I don’t really know what I am or how I can fit in with any group of people. I need some sort of social validation. I would like to have at least one person who understands me well who I can share anything with. What would be the least terrible option for me to meet local strangers via the internet? Or is there some better way of meeting people that I have not considered?
For what it’s worth, if you can I would highly recommend joining a sports team, preferably for a fairly mixed gender sport, like ultimate frisbee or something where there are both genders represented even if not on the field together. To a lesser extent I’d recommend any other mixed activity, even if not a team sport per se, they will provide similar benefits, e.g. a climbing group or a running club.
Team sports give lots of benefits, its exercise, camaraderie, shared goals and personal improvement and eventually mastery (with practice). This is a mental health win win win. And a happier more confident and assured version of yourself will find it easier to make connections in anything you do.
It should also help social isolation. It’s a great organic way of meeting people in real life which is so important, way more so than internet stuff. And even if the love of your life isn’t in the group, perhaps someone in the groups cousin or sibling or friend is. Perhaps they see what a nice person you are and think you’d be a great match for the other single person in their life.
I’m not saying the apps don’t ever work, I’ve been to two app originated weddings. But I’ve been to a lot more weddings where people met on their sports social night, or were introduced by their mutual friend from the hockey club etc.
Omg ultimate Frisbee or something would be optimal!!
I would go so far as to say friends will fill your cup much more quickly than trying to find romantic love on an app. I just posted about using dating apps and getting unfettered access. I see a 21 y/o having much more fun and adjusting better socially playing sports or even finding a discord to play old school RuneScape before I’d suggest apps.
What I’d emphasize is how easy, quick lasting relationships are antithetical to profit for the apps. They’re designed to not have a good time. If getting to know someone, sharing a deep connection that turns into something more, or avoiding tips & tricks from the Andrew Tate side of the Internet sounds interesting to you, you should listen to this person