I hate pubs. I hate bars. All the people, loud music and other overstimulations make my brain go crazy… but most of my friends want to go to bars. Its seems like they are enjoying themselves… any tips to either get better att handeling sutch situations in fututure so i wont be as much of a antisosial outsider?

Cheers

  • Ryan@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Yeah, I haven’t been to a bar/pub in about 20 years. People eventually stopped inviting me, because I would just be super-glued to the 1~2 people I actually knew to limit sensory stuff and (often embarrassing) social interactions.

    Either that, or I’d be hanging-out in the darkest corner closest to the exit, and invariably, someone would ask if I wanted to dance.

    . … …

    Yeah, I never understood why, either…lol

    I would laugh out loud and snidely ask “Seriously!? You see where I’m sitting…oh yeah, I’m just RARING to ‘get jiggy wit it’!” (it was the early 2000’s lol)

    This all took place MANY years before I knew that I’m autistic.

    • oaschbeidl@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      High fidelity ear plugs help. Also I gotta sit with my back towards a wall, ideally in a corner. Some bars have great acoustics, so the noise from the other tables gets scrambled into a soft background murmur, so try to find those and suggest them over ones with terrible acoustics if you are involved in the decision making process. Also Alcohol helps mute the sensory overstimulation, but I’m not suggesting leaning into that too much as it’s obviously not healthy and can lead to bad long term habits.

      • Ryan@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        In my case, it was more than just audio, but point well taken. Alcohol is a pretty hard no for me because of my epilepsy medication. Thankfully, my friends & family all understand & account for my issues with bars, so we simply go elsewhere.