While growing up everything gave me the impression that sex is the best thing in life and everything revolves around it. Many of my friends had their first experiences really young and it seemed like something really exciting and something to look forward to. However after my couple first experiences I was met with the harsh reality that it wasn’t what I was expecting. I already had a long history of enjoying porn and masturbation and I then just felt like including another person added nothing to it for me. Quite the opposite really - it just got more complicated and often felt like a chore. Like asking someone else to scratch an itch for me.
I don’t know anyone else like me and I’m confused about what am I. I’m quite sexual being but I just don’t care about the act of sex itself. I resonate with a alot of things I hear aces talking about but I also feel like I’m not quite welcome in this club either.
I feel like you are describing exactly me! And I’m regularly not sure if I’m really asexual. But it’s not about wether you fit a narrow description, or if you can relate to every ace meme - asexuality is a spectrum, and as long as you feel you’re on it, I’d call you asexual.
Well the main reason I’m wondering is because if it’s something I’m born with then there’s no point trying to fix it but if it’s caused by excessive porn and masturbation then maybe I could do something about it. I guess it could be both too.
I think you should ask yourself if you even wanted to “fix” it if you could. Do you feel you’re missing out on something? If not, I wouldn’t care if I was born with it or not. It’s the way you are, and just because it’s not the norm, it doesn’t need fixing.