I am very comftable with he/him pronouns. Always was but recently I noticed that while I don’t go out of my way to use them I’m also fine with they/them pronouns being used on me.
It could be a phase but I’m not sure. It could also be that I tend to use they/them as an alternative in. I’m confused
Pronouns are like hats, many can fit you but you will inevitably find one you like more than the others. There’s no rush in finding yours. Feel free to try on a few and see how they fit you. Exploring yourself as a person is a life long journey and if you happen to find you are more comfortable with they/them instead of the given he/him, go for it.
This coming from an agender who just wants my pronouns to fit my appearance at the time. And thanks to being a dad-bodded construction worker, it’s basically going to stick with he/him in person for most of my life.
I totally agree, but wanted to add that on top of what you describe we get told that we should wear certain hats while others are strictly forbidden. This can seriously inhibit your ability to notice if one hat fits better than another. I’ve got so much internalized transphobia that I can often not really say what I want. What I do now is trying to slowly unlearn stuff and permit myself to try out more. But it’s a really slow process unfortunately :/
I’m sorry to hear that you are having issues, though I am delighted to hear that you’ve noticed them. That really is the main step needed to correct the upbringing bug. I’m currently working on getting a few relatives who are transphobic to realize the hateful stuff they put on social media is really not OK.
Well, I guess everyone has issues like these. Just like everyone has sexist, racist, etc thought patterns. Everyone has to consciously unlearn them. It is just extra hard if you not only notice these thought patterns but are also affected by them…
How do I experiment with it?
If you can’t do it in person due to unsupportive types, there are plenty of sympathetic discords you could join to strike up a few conversations within then to try them on. One of the ones I’m in has a very active voice chat and often has groups hanging out and playing games.
Thank you, I’m probably overreacting but I appreciate the chance to experiment. You have any links?