I am very comftable with he/him pronouns. Always was but recently I noticed that while I don’t go out of my way to use them I’m also fine with they/them pronouns being used on me.

It could be a phase but I’m not sure. It could also be that I tend to use they/them as an alternative in. I’m confused

  • hoyland@beehaw.org
    9·
    1 year ago

    I realise it’s kind of unhelpful to say “labels don’t matter”, but… labels don’t matter. Or, perhaps more precisely, they come with time.

    A lot of the time, as a (presumed) cis person, you get a trans 101 that is really simplified, where genders always fit into neat boxes and everyone “just knows” which of those boxes they fit into and they care very much about being in that box. Even the non-box, being non-binary, gets made into a box. But really, gender is this whole universe of possibilities, and we each have our own. We live in societies that clump that infinite array of possibility into two, or if we’re lucky, three categories, but that doesn’t mean your own individual gender fits neatly into one of those categories, nor that your gender is just like that of people who ended up in the same category as you.

    You have the freedom to figure out what your own gender looks like, to figure out how you do gender. That can mean experimenting with clothing, makeup, names, pronouns, whatever feels interesting to explore. You might be trans. You might be a gender non-conforming cis person. You might be a cis person who’s just not particularly strongly gendered and going with the flow. But you get to define how you do gender and if you figure out that that comes with a label that’s useful to you, great. If it doesn’t come with a label, it’s a bit tiresome, to be honest, but you’ve not done something wrong.