I am very comftable with he/him pronouns. Always was but recently I noticed that while I don’t go out of my way to use them I’m also fine with they/them pronouns being used on me.

It could be a phase but I’m not sure. It could also be that I tend to use they/them as an alternative in. I’m confused

  • MRPP@sopuli.xyz
    3·
    2 years ago

    After reading what you’ve written, I want to agree with “you are cis and have aesthetic choices”? I mean that you can identify as masculine, but it’s fine to prefer they/them on certain days and like nail polish and bracelets. Masculity shouldn’t be thought of as being forced to be a certain way or act a certain way to qualify. Sure, some things are more associated wih masculinity, but in the end, you decide how you express yourself, and no-one else. Gender expression should be open to individual choice, same as how you define your gender identity.

    • BicyclejohnOP
      1·
      2 years ago

      Just confused. How do I experiment with this. Kind of excited about the possibility of not being cis. How do I explore this non binary part of me? Maybe I’ll find a label

      • MRPP@sopuli.xyz
        1·
        2 years ago

        I guess take it slowly and explore how self expression makes you feel? There might be a newfound euphoria in trying all the things at the same time, but I’m worried that this might lead to unsafe things, or maybe unsafe people.

        Finding yourself is a marathon that can take a whole lifetimes worh of experiences, so take your time. I would suggest finding stuff to read, watch and listen to, that will give you more context to your experiences, maybe even new people to talk to?

        I can try to dig up more resources, but I’ll starg with a local one: https://en.seta.fi/lgbti-rights-in-finland-seta/materials/ Seta is a Finnish ngo that works with LGBTQ members of society, providing support, resources and aims to further their position through political influence.

        • BicyclejohnOP
          2·
          2 years ago

          I’m in Malta so rights are good here. Don’t know how to express this part of my gender.

          • MRPP@sopuli.xyz
            1·
            2 years ago

            They have other resources too, about gender identity, finding yourself and finding a community. Do you have an idea on what would make you feel good? If everything were possible, what would you wish to change in your day-to-day life, so that it would feel more comfortable, more like you?

            Speaking to different people about how they went through similar life situations could help you maybe find a way for you to explore yourself. Maybe there are safe spaces near where you live, that you could pop in to and talk with some people? Like a LGBTQ-friendly community night or something? Or maybe even using lemmy spaces, reddit or other online spaces to find people who could talk with you about their own processes?

            I’m cishet, so my experience will be different, but if it’ll help, I can share it.

            • BicyclejohnOP
              1·
              2 years ago

              My only safe space is the internet. As for my identity idk. Probably cis maybe not. Not sure what I would like. 80% I’m cis with he/they pronouns