Maybe this is a good problem to have, but shopping is more of a chore for me than something fun to do. I’m also a pretty frugal person. For those reasons, it’s pretty hard for me to make big purchases, like furniture or even nicer clothing.
I go to the store, I look at the options and none of them seem exactly perfect, I think about how I could just keep the money for something else, I go home without buying anything. Then it takes a long time before I get up the energy to try again. But once I actually buy the thing, I’m happy and wish I had gotten it sooner.
As an example, I moved about nine months ago and need a couple of arm chairs for my new place. I’ve gone to a few stores, but every time the same pattern repeats itself, and I don’t buy anything. It’s been months! I’m sure I’ll be happy once I have the chairs though.
I don’t have trouble spending money at restaurants or on experiences – those things are fun to me, so I don’t mind spending the money. So, how do I get myself to make big purchases when I don’t find shopping fun?
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This is the way. For larger purchases I will actually make spreadsheets, I list the features along the x axis and the products down the Y axis then assign a number 1-3 in each feature then sum and toss all but the top few. Once I have fewer options the choice os usually pretty easy.
For clothing the problem is harder. I’ll make a shopping list with no more than 3 items. Then I only look at items on my list and only buy the one that fits and looks best. For clothing pricing can be tricky for me. As I have gotten older I have come to realize that MSRP is NOT a strong indicator for quality, but certain brands do cost more AND last.
I think you need to change the goal. Rather than the goal being to purchase the right chair, make the goal into “buying a chair today”. Now your task isn’t to decide on the best chair and to maybe buy no chair if none seem good. Your goal is to have a chair tonight. So at that point if you have seen a few chairs and they all seem equally “fine”, great! In that case pick any of them, they’ll all satisfy the challenge, and go home content!
Only barely related, there’s a Numberphile video you may find interesting about choosing portapotties, but the premise is “how many do I need to look at before committing to this one without seeing the rest”. Again, barely related, but the takeaway is that you don’t necessarily need to see every chair to get a sense of the average chair and then just pick the next one that seems average or better.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they’re really helpful! You kind of combined the concept of satisficing from one comment with the deadline suggestion from another comment in a helpful way. I think reframing my goal as you suggest would work for me. I’m definitely looking for the perfect chair right now. Maybe if I was looking for the good enough chair today it would help me pick. I worry about getting buyer’s remorse, but realistically I’ll just be happy to have a chair.
There’s a term called “satisficing” vs “maximising”.
When you maximise you aim to get the absolute best possible outcome. This means comparing every single attribute, which can be exhausting.
Try learning to accept “satisficing” instead, it’s the philosophy of “good enough”. Come up with a criteria, find 3 options that fit, choose 1 of them and bite the bullet. There might be something out there that’s a slightly better deal or had an additional feature, but you saved a lot of time and energy not having to look for it.
Thanks for sharing the word “satisficing”! I’ve never heard it before and it’s really nice to have a word for that concept.
I definitely fall into the maximizer category and that causes some of my purchase paralysis. For many types of item, I’ve started just buying the wirecutter recommendation and trusting it to be good enough. Clothing and furniture feel more personal and less generic, so the wirecutter strategy hasn’t applied, but I will have to try to find a way to satisfice with those purchases too.
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