“Henceforth no citizen shall enjoy any rights unless they are capable of defeating the self-appointed arbiter of personhood in a debate. But be warned, he will only ever argue in bad faith, has unmatched endurance when it comes to moving goalposts, and if he senses an impending defeat he will simply rattle off a haphazard list of logical fallacies before declaring himself the victor and storming off. Also he will only accept challenges from those who have yet to earn a high school diploma.”