I’m not good with masking my emotions sometimes, although I do try to process the things before I take any action.
My face and body language on the other hand can reflect what I’m going through at the moment.
Are you aware of any ways to control yourself under difficult situations (apart from things like meditation) ?
I personally learned to play poker as a child. Controlling your reactions, good or bad, and making them unreadable was a core part of getting good at the game.
Maybe search how to do a poker face and practice those techniques?
Now I’m picturing you and your baby pals during a play date years ago, sitting around a card table, holding cards, and smoking stogies…
I’m picturing Baby Herman now.