“In the years since, Trump has invariably tweaked the questions he allegedly received on the test, at times boasting that he had correctly recited five words and performed basic multiplication while at other times insisting that he had passed thanks to correctly identifying a whale. That is, in spite of the fact that the test’s authors claim that none of the three versions in circulation actually have a whale on them.”

Being proud of answering an ever-changing set of non-existent questions is the most Trump thing ever. “Actually. AWKCHEWAALLLYYYY, there definitely was a whale. I remember because I’m fantastic at whales, and this was the whalest I’d ever seen. I was like, ‘Wow, that’s definitely a whale’”. At least he can supposedly do basic multiplication, which makes him way more capable with numbers than some politicians like Marjorie Taylor Greene who has trouble just pronouncing them. Imagine how much more upset he’d be at the huge numbers involved in the payments he has to make if he couldn’t even read them…