• fauxerious@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I mean, why waste his time

      A rude or nice no is still no

      Maybe we should think about what societal factors created such anxiety around turning people down

      Like, I don’t know, the patriarchy

      • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
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        9 months ago

        Plus there’s the possibility that the screenshot was trying to ask advice from a friend about how to say no. If there was a complete disregard for his feelings the response could’ve just been “lol no” or something equally dismissive.

        • Betch@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          That’s how I’m reading it. Wasn’t really anything mean, just really really unfortunate.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Seriously. Like even when not feeling threatened, turning people down is awkward. I have a perfect excuse and I’m still embarrassed and awkward about it. And if you like them in a friendly way there’s a fine needle to thread of trying to communicate a sincere desire for platonic friendship.

          I get asking people out leaves you vulnerable, I know it all too well. But being asked out also leaves you vulnerable, which I also know all too well. And while some people learn this skill young and quickly, many don’t.

      • CTDummy@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        I think it’s pretty standard society wise to start polite or “nice” and then move to rude. At the very least reciprocating the energy received which doesn’t strike me as rude. You can be polite and brief if that is desired.

        • Encrypt-Keeper@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I don’t think they are. I think they’re saying that the patriarchy is to blame for the awkwardness around rejection, and therefore the cause of the blunder. As in like, the boy was collateral damage.

          • FabledAepitaph@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Exactly. They were insinuating that the person turned this guy down awkwardly and disrespectfully because of the “patriarchy”, whatever that means. The person being turned down was mistreated because of the other person’s misconceptions and preconceptions. Theres another term for that, but you can only lead a horse to water.

            Alternatively, a simpler explanation is that the person who sent the text is just a douche bag, and didn’t care about this person’s feelings and wasn’t brave enough to let them know three or more unwanted advances prior.