I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I’ve been sitting around quietly letting everyone blame industry and themselves for climate change, but the truth is that I wished for winter to end on a shooting star when I was little. I didn’t realize the implications of such a wish and just hated the cold.

I, uh, also might have wished for bees to go away on my birthday candles. I realize now the bee was just checking my cake for nectar because it had bright colours, but at the time I thought it was attacking my birthday party.