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    • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      21·
      6 months ago

      i was in a group thing and we were all going around saying our names and i went first and didn’t give my pronouns, because i’m trying to be relatively stealth, i was wearing a skirt, and i have a very feminine name. literally everyone else gave their pronouns, so when i inevitably get clocked people are going to have to ask or guess, and the mostly cis crew are definitely gonna they me

      i guess i should be glad i live in an area where people do that but mostly i’m just anxious

      • material_delinquent@hexbear.netEnglish
        22·
        6 months ago

        I experience most of these things as purely performative - like it’s pretty easy to tell apart when people who never ask for pronouns ask me for pronouns and when people do it habitually. Obviously I think everybody should ask. I do shame people who ask me in an obnoxious way that makes me feel uncomfortable, like when they say “you can’t tell anymore nowadays” before asking

    • SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      8·
      6 months ago

      I haven’t really been in a large social space since I started transitioning and this honestly terrifies the fuck out of me. It’s a surefire way that I’ve been clocked and it would make me feel dysphoric. I mean, sure, I’d prefer to be gendered properly, but I wish that it would just happen naturally.

      • material_delinquent@hexbear.netEnglish
        9·
        6 months ago

        I think it’s important to establish pronouns as parts of personal introduction, especially since I am demi-gender, but I really resent “progressives” making a show about it in a way that shows they are not sincere and just want to show off.

        Most groups I am in do it by habit now, thankfully, but once I was meeting a group with my partner and a familiar person from the other group went “we should do a pronoun circle” in the middle of the street while we were both presenting very femme and that person never usually does that. Something similar happened a bunch of times.

    • WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.netEnglish
      7·
      6 months ago

      It sucks to be misgendered but… 1. I’d rather do a pronoun circle than misgender someone on accident and 2. Non-binary people exist so idk what solution even would exist that could account for both asides from making pronoun pins mandatory at all social meetings of any kind.

      Edit: If I end up “clocking” someone I have no idea if they’re non binary or not so my only choice is asking their pronouns and probably making them feel terrible or not asking them their pronouns… and probably making them feel terrible