Let me start. I previously resided in a north eastern US state, I had a good job, a good partner, a nice place to live. I thought I’d made it.

I started having medical problems, discovered I carry certain genes and such. Was having trouble getting them diagnosed, but such is life.

Then my good partner left me, I lost my job of a year and a half, and I thought a fresh start near family would be good. I decided to move cross country. Which I regret, I want to leave but now I don’t have the resources so here I am.

I just can’t seem to get a job, I’ve applied at over 2000 jobs in the last 6 months. My previous job was managing the entire technology infrastructure for an IT company. The one before that was the IT Manager for a small company. I have the experience, but I can’t get a job.

Last night I swerved to avoid deer in the road, got stuck in the mud and had to get towed out. I’m flat broke, I can’t get a job, I have nothing. I lost everything. And I don’t see myself ever recovering it. I have the experience and skill to do at least mid and some high level IT work.

I desperately want a remote job because my car is not reliable, my partner got the good car sadly. I’ve certainly made mistakes, I’ve certainly failed. But I don’t think I deserve this much pain and suffering. I have nothing, I’ve lost it all. I can’t find a job. I don’t dare look for a partner while I’m a dead broke loser, so I have no one to share with.

Anyways, I apologize for whining and crying, I know we’re all going through things. But I have nowhere to vent and it just keeps getting worse and I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get out.

Love you all. Thanks for reading. Please think of me when you get a chance and send good vibes my way.

  • Hegar@kbin.social
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    5 months ago

    If you respond well to ideas, I found the Chinese philosophical text the Zhuangzi comforting when life is filled with negative changes.

    It’s encourages remembering that the world operates at multiple scales, that human concerns are just one scale, and has a lot to say about coping with inevitable and unexpected transformations. Even in translation it’s sparkling - witty, brilliant, silly and logical.

    But I know not everyone finds comfort in words.