Young people in this country have had it too easy for too long, writes Ryan Coogan. If the pandemic, housing crisis and rotating cast of prime ministers didn’t toughen them up, perhaps a stint in the army will…
I wonder how many people actually read the article… Er, I mean piss take.
They think ‘based’ is hot off the presses
Here’s what this is responding to:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/01/23/public-call-up-army-too-small/
Is this satire?
obviously
Without some absolutely top-tier propaganda, you’ll end up with a whole load of conscientious objectors who’ll have to be cajoled or outright threatened to fight.
And you don’t want to give a gun to someone who’s been forced into a miserable situation they don’t want to be in with no way out.
On the other hand, maybe there are enough zoomers who’d take to conscription like their (great-)great-grandparents did in the 1940s. Gung-ho, fight the enemy, come back with PTSD if you come back at all and all that.
Maybe they’ll leave that last part out of the propaganda. Or maybe this time they’ll promise (pretty promise with sugar and a cherry on top) that since we have PTSD treatments now, those will definitely be implemented for those who make it back. Absolutely. No question.
Yay war!
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This is the best summary I could come up with:
Today, the head of the army warned that the British public will be called up to fight in the event that the UK goes to war with Russia, because the military as it stands is too small.
In response, Conservative MP Tobias Ellwood told Sky News that we should listen to the message carefully, as there is a “1939 feel to the world”, and the country is not ready for “what is coming over the horizon”.
Most of them didn’t even have to go to school for two years (sure, it was because of a deadly worldwide pandemic that permanently stunted their educational development and social skills, but still.
And even if they do serve their full term (unlikely), they’re so plagued with calls to step down and dastardly party plots that every day is an adventure.
Young people today are soft, and the only cure is to force them from their families and train them to kill our enemies.
And no, I don’t see the irony of forcing a group of people largely demonised as “soft” and “snowflakes” to be the last line of defence for the UK.
The original article contains 657 words, the summary contains 189 words. Saved 71%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!