I wanna upvote it because it’s funny but I don’t wanna upvote it because OP didn’t get the obvious joke
In OP’s defense, it’s kinda hard to tell nowadays if someone’s joking or not. Satire is dead and buried.
Edit to add: there absolutely is a non zero chance that the guy in the pic literally and purposefully peed his pants, thought that was a flex and subsequently bragged about it on the primary social network for professionals.
Satire has been exhumed, cremated, and had the ashes stolen and sold in an auction on accident.
Another problem with satire is that conservatives literally cannot grasp the concept of it, so they also take satirical works, making fun of conservatives, literally.
There are people that watched The Boys and come away from it thinking Homelander is a swell guy. Like, how??
This is what I will tell myself if I ever accidentally shit myself. “I just needed some adversity in my life guys!”
Shit yourself in public -> gov thinks you’re insane -> passive income from disability checks
It’s really that easy guys.
I dare these people to try the disability income lifestyle. If you manage to save you lose disability before you have enough to do anything with it
Disability income is horrifying in the US. You’re essentially disallowed from owning things. Given that Europe will be waking up in a few hours, I’d like to ask whether the situation is panic-inducingly dystopian over there as well.
I’m sure OP was joking but disability checks in USA is a very individualized experience but usually sucks (depending on what categories you may fall under and what funding streams are open). Generally you can not have more than $2,000 total in cash and/or assets (many barely running cars are worth that or more). You usually can work but get often are cut-off completely after making between $1,000-1,500 a month. The actual checks are usually less than a thousand a month barring special needs. Just an overview for anyone unaware of what it is like, obviously in a high cost of living area barring other subsidies (ie housing vouchers) you would have to min/max all costs/income/assets to avoid being perpetually destitute.
Worth noting, at least for SSI, your house (if you have one somehow,) anything inside your house or apartment, and one vehicle do not count as resources. Of course, the vehicle part is an issue because in most states, even living in subsidized housing and every other possible benefit you could have, paying for the insurance basically gives you 0 dollars to work with at the end of the month. Not to mention you can’t afford repairs if anything even minor comes up.
Also, as far as working, you can make up to double your disability income plus around $50 before your disability is shut off, and it turns right back on the second you report that you’ve gone back under that.
In addition, if you were disabled young enough, you can open up an ABLE account that let’s you save up to 100,000 dollars. Other people can also deposit into that account for you up to a certain amount and it won’t count against you. I technically qualify for an ABLE account myself, but I haven’t been able to successfully set one up yet.
Also, some states give SNAP benefits as cash instead of purely food EBT for SSI recipients, which makes life a lot easier because you’re pretty much guaranteed the max amount.
I’ve been surviving by finding subsidized housing where I can easily walk everywhere (and nearby family to support me and shop for me on rare occasions where I can’t walk, which is part of my disability,) cooking meals myself so I can keep them as cheap as possible so I can use the rest of my EBT cash on other things I need, and basically just trying not to have a lot of stuff that would be expensive to replace.
Although I did have a nice moment last year where they realized they weren’t paying me enough and had to give me back payments. 7,000 dollars just fell in my lap over the course of the year and I started getting a bunch more money every month. Happiest I’d been in a while.
If I’m honest though, probably by virtue of living in Vermont, my life’s been far from hard. Around here I randomly get letters sometimes saying they determined I qualify for a benefit I didn’t even know existed, so they automatically set me up with it. I’ll just randomly start getting extra money out of nowhere sometimes because of that.
Meanwhile, I have an also disabled sibling living a state over and his life’s been hell, never having money for things as simple as food and getting his disability shut off because the SSA interviewer didn’t want to do their job and just went “Well you don’t sound disabled.” So yeah, it varies.
You have to create a Medicaid trust 5 years before you need it.
https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/asset-protection-trusts/
It’s horryfiyng but for other reasons. I’m actually on disability and like every other single person on disability in Italy (sure it’s better in other countries) I’m fortunate to have a family (as to not have to rely on the meager check) or else I’d be on the street or worse. Life on here costs about ~800€ a month but they expect (?) people with disability to live with 300/500 a month (the average disability pension) the only person I knew who received more than that (not even that more, barely 800€) was a lady that was literally a vegetable and her cares costed many multiples of 800€, at least the cool thing is that you can receive these brownie points and keep working. Can’t comment on other European nations as they’re all different in som ways.
Edit: oh also when you turn 18 the gov agency in charge of disabilities and pension does whatever is it in its power to strip you of your meager check🙄
Anyone who complains about those on disability mooching off the government should thank their lucky stars that they have no idea what they’re talking about.
Varies greatly by country, but Denmark here. It’s not the absolute worst, however getting on permanent disability aka early retirement is a years long process and the government will drag its feet like crazy on it while doing everything they can to find out that maybe you can work after all.
In that time until the government finally decides that you qualify for permanent disability/early retirement, you get to be on long term unemployment benefits which grants you about (at the highest tier, depending on age and living situation) 800 EUR after taxes and bills have been paid. If this can’t be reached normally you’ll get a little bonus called housing security to get you up there. While on unemployment benefits you cannot have more than 1300 or so EUR in your bank account and assets like a car, or that will count against your benefits. You must use your own money to pay your way first, then you get unemployment benefits. All the while you’re forced to go to meetings at the job centre, take on unpaid internships, and send out job applications for as long as it takes the government to move on. Oh, and forget about traveling or going on vacation. You are to be available for “work” at all times, and if they find out you’ve been gone it cuts into your benefits. Not that you can really afford to travel anyway.
Finally once you’re approved for early retirement, well, that’s what it is. You get a bit more money from the public pension, the restrictions are gone, and if you want you can even supplement with a part time job.
It physically hurts to know that the US system is essentially identical to any other. It really offers a 1-2 punch to anyone unlucky enough to become disabled. I sincerely appreciate you writing this out, it was eye-opening.
I think the main difference you’ll generally see is how much money is given (800 EUR after taxes and utility bills comes out to about 1600 EUR gross depending on one’s living situation), and how much certain things are subsidized. At least in the unemployment part of the process. Let’s take dental health as an example: this isn’t covered by public healthcare, so you get to pay in full for any visits to a dentist.
However, for people on unemployment benefits this is subsidized either fully or almost fully. There’s a certain threshold at which you may have to request to have it subsidized, but often the dentist will just send the bill straight to the government. This is of course fucked up in its own right when you consider that if you have a job, no matter how little it pays, the government will want nothing to do with you there. A lot of people with jobs can’t afford dental work and get no support whatsoever from the government for it.
As well, once you’ve reached the point of early retirement or permanent disability, should you choose to take on a part time job it will cut into your benefits if you earn above a certain threshold from the job. However, unlike in the US, doing so gradually cuts into your benefits rather than just shutting it off. And again, all the restrictions from unemployment are gone here. You’re free to save as much as you like, travel, whatever.
Ah, I misunderstood the unemployment benefits portion! That’s entirely my mistake. In that case, your system is far and away more reasonable and I apologize. It still physically hurts that disability is horrifically broken in the US but at least it isn’t universal. I hope we’ll eventually achieve something approaching acceptable treatment.
Cant you save in cash? How would the govt know you have cash squirreled away in your matttess?
Technically possible, sure. Just don’t get caught during a random inspection where someone surreptitiously follows you for multiple days to see whether you’re faking.
Satire
Agree?
I’ve heard peeing your pants is the coolest.
I would guess it’s the warmest at first and then it gets cooler overtime.
I think you mean the hottest
That would be a person who has an easy fucking life.
Just let a little out, then let it dry, then a little more, and repeat.
Only problem is once you let a little out, it becomes harder to stop and before you know it your pants are wet from a waterfall.
I’ve done so many male keagals that my prostate could squeeze the top off an otter pop.
I have no idea what those words mean. Is it even english??
Possibly a fetish
Everyone knows that most of theses aren’t real, right? Please tell me people know not to believe all of this stuff.
