It depends on what specifically you’re trying to get him to do, but something I’ve found very helpful is setting up the environment in a way that will lower the “initiation energy” of something to make it easier to start doing. YMMV on what does or doesn’t work for him, my spouse and I have found labels and organizing by task to be a huge help in making it easier to start things because now I have to devote 0% of my brain power to wandering around finding everything I need and staying on task, and I don’t need to root through drawers to find it.

Sensory adjustments to the environment might also be useful, like changing light levels, noise blocking headphones/ear plugs, or playing white noise/natural noises. And it sounds hippy dippy as fuck, but time in outdoor green spaces has been shown to improve symptoms in kids with ADHD, so if you guys aren’t regularly spending time outside or at the park it could be a good to incorporate it.

You’re already doing a lot more than many parents just by trying to understand and empathize instead of beating it out of him, so fist bump from a former neurodivergent kid. 🤜