I remember walking into one of their ABC stores on my first trip there and seeing an $8 gallon of milk, a $49 bottle of Jose cuervo, and a $0.19 whole pineapple. That was a shock.

I, being largely broke, bought the pineapple. As I walked out, a sudden storm hit, drenching me instantly. Soaked and realizing I had absolutely no way to open a pineapple, I turned to a nearby park bench and literally smashed it open on the back rest, rain pounding down on me. I tore into the pineapple, broken and leaking, and it was the sweetest, sharpest flavor I had ever tasted. It burned my tastebuds, the bromaline in the pineapple flesh trying to eat me as I ate it.

I swear to fuck that as I bit down into that sheared fruit that the heavens cracked above and lightning slammed down close enough to see. It was like some ancient god was nodding to this savage idiot with spikey sweet fruit crushed into his hands. I remember grinning like a fool, just doused in the islands.

Hawaii fucks. Its just fucks and fucks.

The weather’s certainly better, but damn was I disappointed in the car dependency and poverty levels.