I dated a lady I met in an autism support group. We had both been recently diagnosed, so you can imagine that autism was all we talked about. One of our things was to humorously point out all the things we do that are autistic since we were so oblivious of our traits until that point. We actually had a lot of fun doing this. Anyway, she often pointed out how I reliably answered rhetorical questions, even when they were supposedly obviously not meant to be answered. I just didn’t want her to feel dismissed. 🤷♂️
He’s been like this my whole life. I don’t think young children that see you as a father figure know how to be authentic and stable.
So he did what you did and stopped wanting to be around his children.
He’s still like this, even when I make my annual visit from across the world.