Serious question.

Since a lot of online leftist spaces have people from the LGBT community, I sometimes do some research and reading or watching on whatever people post. It’s interesting but not really relatable to me. The questions I have came up after watching a video posted on here. I t was something like incel to transfemme pipeline or something-something Mari? Super interesting and all, and i thought the comments were insightful, but I still didn’t relate to it all. I was born a guy, I look like one and feel like one, and no matter what I do that’s the way I’m treated. Like a straight cis guy. Some people post in communities like on Hexbear and idk if they’re joking but they mention how they should’ve known they were trans because they did something feminine or masculine or whatever the opposite their assigned gender is. What’s the difference between that, and tomboys or flamboyant gay men? Anything I did that was feminine, it was out of curiosity but made me generally uncomfortable. Honestly the guys I grew up around thought a lot more about what it’s like to be a woman than I ever did, and they act a whole lot more manly than I do.

My life really wouldn’t really feel that different if I was born or identified as a different gender identity. It’s not something I ever really cared much for, and gender just isn’t something I really think about. I’m not the most manly of the men, since I think the stereotype is unrealistic. I just do what I do, and no one really questions it or treats me different as I get older. I feel like most people who are interested in this type of thing are already in the “LGBT-space”. I never felt that way. I guess after reading all this stuff about how other people deal with the society we live in, I spent some time thinking about what it would be like to be in their shoes. It didn’t really change anything. I’m just attracted to feminine types romantically, and I was born and feel like a man. Why fix what isn’t broken for me? That’s my logic.

I was wondering why some people use they/them, she/them, he/them, or even both she and he. How did you come to that conclusion and why? Or how did you know what was more comfortable for you? To me this just seems like a social construct that doesn’t effect me. I just think it’s cool to have non-conforming people existing around and feeling comfortable with who they are, since it lifts a lot of strict gender norms on people like me who just chill.

  • vettnerk
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    1 year ago

    As another vanilla cis dude, I’ve come to see it like this: Gender is something i don’t really have to care about, as it doesn’t really affect me. But it does both affect and mean a lot to some others, so I try to be accomodating when it comes to things such as pronouns.

    I don’t have to fully understand something to be understanding about it.