• dreugeworst
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’m neurotypical, or at least haven’t been diagnosed with anything, but that sounds like a huge overreaction from you ex-friend. To me the way that should have gone is:

    • you mention father
    • new acquaintance gets upset
    • you apologise, perhaps stating you didn’t know about their mother and you’re so sorry
    • everyone tries to move on to another topic
    • Captain_Waffles@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yeah, like I felt bad that it caused them emotional pain, but being screamed into oblivion for asking to borrow a phone so I could call my father and tell him when I needed to be picked up was not the right response. I wasn’t even able to say “I’m sorry, I didn’t know” because she wouldn’t stop scream berating me (while ignoring her crying friend too). I just walked out of the room and ended up borrowing a strangers phone. We never spoke again. Thankfully the rumors she tried to spread about me were so unbelievable that no one believed them. Like my bully didn’t believe them they were that ludicrously bad.

      The thing that really confused me that I found out from someone else later was that their father was still alive. Did they just never refer to their father in any way? People are going to mention their parents. Like we were all in middle school, having to say “I have to ask my parents if I can do that, go to that, etc” is practically a daily phrase at that point in life.

      I just hope their friend got the help they needed. I never learned exactly when their mother passed, but it was at least several weeks in the past from what I gathered. Bursting into tears because someone simply mentions a parent, who isn’t even the one who died, suggests they need professional help. Obviously I’m not expecting people to get over a family member dying just because a certain amount of time has passed, but just hearing the word “Dad” shouldn’t cause a fountain of tears.

      • Captain_Waffles@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Yeah, like grief is messy and I felt bad for her friend, but screaming at someone for something you know they didn’t know is not okay.