She told me I trauma dumped on her and I was looking to trauma bond. Which I think isn’t true since I disclosed to other dates from the get-go I was bipolar because I am one of those who think it’s better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached. Some people are just not okay dating with mental illnesses and that’s okay. So I prefer to say it in advance.
She said she is disabled too and won’t be capable of taking care of me all the time, I have taken it badly because as I said to her I am not looking for a mother. She told she’s got “nurse syndrom” which is basically in the context of romantic relationships, is a psychological phenomenon where an individual, often a woman, feels a compulsive need to “save” or “fix” their partner. I told her I find that infantilizing I do not want a mother or someone trying to save me, yes I am disabled but yes I can also take care of myself like a grown-up, I am not 6 years old looking for guidance. I said to her I do not feel comfortable pursuing the relationship.
AITA for thinking she’s the one showing red flags?
It sounds like you were both throwing red flags like they were going out of style. Everything you wrote about her behaviour seems like it should be a hard pass, but it also sounds like you reacted poorly and might have been a little abrasive on the way out.
Either way, I hope you both find someone who is a better match.
You’re right reflecting on it I might have reacted badly too, makes me learn for the future in the dating world since I am pretty new.