those who do not shit do not notice their asshole - me!

me when i take too long to put my seatbelt on in the passenger seat so the car beeps at me and i decide “well if you’re going to treat me like that then i’d better not put the belt on” so it beeps LOUDER and i decide “well if that’s how it is i’m just walking away” but it won’t let me unlock the door while the car’s in motion so i have to pull the e-brake to get it to stop but they know doing that without a seatbelt can be fatal so was there ever really a choice to begin with

Reminds me of a conversation I had once. I was talking about getting bullied constantly in school but only got into a couple fights and rarely did I get hit. The person I was talking to told me that I wasn’t bullied and I was full of shit… Because I was quick enough to avoid punches and faster than my tormentors, so I was always able to run away

Me as a cat wanting to come back inside after meowing to go out.

Oh yes, this is a regular beat for the police-watchers here in the US. Someone ends up stopped by a patrol car for a traffic violation and then before they knew it it turns into a search, and that bankroll in their briefcase has just been confiscated.

What amendment to the Constitution of the United States? Well this here is the ill gotten gains of crime. No, we don’t have to say which crime. Calm down, sir. That’s a nice jacket. You dont want it getting damaged tonight, do you?

WTF is rule?