Hello everyone,

You all know me as Arsen6331

A while ago, I had a realization. I realized I was trans.

As with all the other major realizations in my life, my brain has been subconsciously collecting evidence for years, and I had this realization in a single moment. My egg didn’t crack, it exploded and shattered violently. Memories containing evidence started popping up in quick succession, from when I was as young as 3 years old, and I had to process all of them. It has been a major emotional rollercoaster.

I’ve been repressing this for as long as I’ve been alive, so this makes me very anxious, but now that most of it has been processed, and the most important people have been told, I can tell all of you:

Hello, I am Elara, an Autistic, Trans ML.

Thanks to everyone here. You all were a huge part of my realization. Without you, it might’ve happened a lot later or not at all.

    • 🏳️‍⚧️ Elara ☭OPM
      15•1 year ago

      I don’t think the word cracked fully captures the violence and speed with which it shattered into a million pieces. I randomly realized at like 3 AM with no obvious trigger, and then had new memories I didn’t even know existed popping up randomly every minute for several days. You can literally see the effect on my git commit history.

  • Seanchaí (she/her)M
    18•1 year ago

    I’m so glad to hear that you are taking steps in your life to examine who you want to be.

    All of us, every person, is in a constant, lifelong state of growth and transition, from what we were, through what we are and into what we hope to become. For some us this growth requires astounding leaps in relating to ourselves and the world around us, often departing from what we even conceived of as possible.

    It’s a powerful and freeing thing to reflect on what you need to do to navigate this world more fully as yourself.

    If you ever have any questions, or need to talk, I’m here <3

    • 🏳️‍⚧️ Elara ☭OPM
      11•1 year ago

      Well, if you look at my previous profile picture, it’s a star, while the current one is a planetary nebula, so not exactly supernova, but it did expel its outer layers. I didn’t even notice that.

  • Oppo
    17•1 year ago

    Congrations on your coming out I hope you have a bright future for yourself :D

  • QueerCommie
    14•1 year ago

    Congrats Elara, I can relate to randomly finding memories that can be explained by my non-cisnes, or realizing why they’ve been stuck in my head.

  • Water Bowl Slime
    14•1 year ago

    Now we’re one step closer to turning this entire website queer!! 😈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Glad you joined the cause, agent Elara

  • alunyanneгs 🏳️‍⚧️♀️
    8•1 year ago

    me when new trans girl person in the bloc

    https://gfycat.com/silkygenuineirishdraughthorse

    as always, congrats on your newfound revelation! from one trans girl to another~

    i have to ask though, what’s the inspiration behind choosing elara as your name? i ask bc it’s a pretty uncommon name.

    • 🏳️‍⚧️ Elara ☭OPM
      7•1 year ago

      i have to ask though, what’s the inspiration behind choosing elara as your name? i ask bc it’s a pretty uncommon name.

      1. I wanted a name of an astronomical object because I like space. Elara is the name of one of Jupiter’s moons.
      2. I wanted a name that would be easy to pronounce in both English and Russian because I speak both and know several people who speak exclusively one or the other.
      3. I wanted an uncommon name.

      I went through several lists of astronomical objects, until I found Elara. It was the only one I really liked, so I wrote it down, then got more options (not all astronomical). Most of them were eliminated for one reason or another, and of the ones left, I liked Elara the most.