Alovoa - Meet amazing people, privately!
alovoa.com
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Meet new people in your area, absolutely privately using open-source technologies. You're only a few clicks away to find new friends, dating and sexual partners. Looking for a girlfriend, boyfriend, quick hookup, one-night stand or just someone with the same interests? No problem!
Travis Skaalgard
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6M

A few issues with Alovoa:

  1. The devs seem to think it’s okay to set the minimum age here to 16. This is gross and will cause trouble, both via underage users getting creeped on and also legally, especially in the US. As soon as I realized this, I deleted my account.

  2. There’s no way to manually set your location, so if you use a VPN, you’re just fucked, and not in the way this app intends to facilitate.

  3. There seem to be several instances floating around, and it is unclear if they are federated or not.

  4. There are no users. Obviously this will be less of a problem over time, but it’s still an issue.

@AgreeableLandscape
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6M

Yeah the minimum age is a huge problem. I don’t care what the age of consent is, minors of any country should not be using dating apps, it only puts them at risk.

@Reaton
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56M

The minimum age is also what made me delete my account on the spot. It’s inappropriate to allow adults to “meet” minors on this kind of project imo.

@handvat
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25M

The minimum age is also what made me delete my account on the spot.

Such an overreaction to be honest. If you think it’s wrong to meet up with people under 16, don’t meet up with them. As for minors, don’t allow them to meet people 3 years older than them if that’s what you’re afraid of, although it’s still an arbitrary limit. I can imagine a 16 year old open to meeting 18 year old people, there’s nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

Look, I can go outside and meet with 16 years old as an adult. Does not mean I do it and it does not mean I support banning minors from going outside, because they might meet adult people.

Note that I’m from a country where:

  1. The minimum age for sex is 16.. Does this mean I approve of 16 year olds having sex with, for example, 26 year olds? No. Are they allowed to, according to Dutch law? Yes, if both persons are able to consent wilfully. Note that in order to be a prostitute or to act in pornographic film, you still need to be at least 18.
  2. Online communication with a person of 16 or older with the intention of sex is allowed. I’m sure since is something that is of the main thing Alovoa provides, having a minimum age of 16 would be enough. I assume the creator is from Germany and I assume they have similar laws as the Dutch in this regard.
  3. If you’re a dad and you take your own child to the park, without the mother, you aren’t seen as a child predator.

I’d rather have USA users disallowed from this instance rather than yet another service needing to accommodate for the prudish USA. The USA users could have their own isolated instance with their own rules. I assume USA users wouldn’t be matched with European users anyways, due to the large geographical distance.

@Reaton
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I’ve already explain my views in my others comments in this thread.

Edit: And I’m from EU btw.

Travis Skaalgard
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36M

Absolutely.

soronixa
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26M

isn’t 16 the age of consent in some states? meaning that it’s legal for a 16 year old to date anyone they want?

@Reaton
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Even if the age of consent is 16 in some places, I don’t think that an adult having a relation with a minor is ethical. Therefore, I don’t want to be related to a service that doesn’t see this as an issue.

soronixa
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46M

I totally understand. I think if we lived in an ideal world it wouldn’t be a problem, but definitely there are many possible ways it can be abused.

@quiteStraightEdge
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16M

What does age have to do with being ethical? You think that 18 is magical unicorn gate that makes people adults? Or that if someone is younger shouldn’t be able to find sex/love partner? Or that no one lies online and forcing younger user to lie would benefit anyone, and not create situation when one lawfully adult person think that is meeting with another lawfully adult person to get drinks? Or that no 50 year old won’t create account with minimal age set up be it 18 or 16? I think lying is a problem here, not age difference.

Yall boycotting dating app because you are afraid that a 16 year old may have sex with maybe anyone more experienced making it probably safer? Especially when this site isn’t aiming to be hook up app, but place to meet people.

It is also very, very young project trying to do a great thing for lonely people, yet you attack it because you think that number is too low? And that’s only reason?

How sick can you be if the first thing you think about when you see young age is rape? (I assume that is what you think?) Or that 16 year old person must be removed and can’t think for themselves? You think when you hit 18, you got some magic smartness power card and become homo sapiens?

@Reaton
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16M

I don’t say nor think that being 18 makes you automatically an entirely developed person, However it gives you the status of an adult. Of course younger people should be able to find a love/sexual partner but the role of the society is to protect these younger people from possible danger. Yes, people lies online and we can’t really prevent that. Does that mean we should authorize anything to avoid getting people lying ? No. Probably that most of adult users would set the minimum age for research over 18. The thing is that we should not take a case-by-case approach to the protection of minors facing potential risk.

The problem is more than just a problem of sex, it is a problem of relationship with unequal status of people. The fact that it is a website for meeting people and not a dating website doesn’t change the issue.

I think it’s great to see an open-source and privacy minded project that tries to address the problem of loneliness (even more so in this time of covid). However, I can’t support a project that doesn’t try to prevent minors from being in a dangerous situation.

As I said before, sex (and therefore also sexual assaults) is a part of but not the whole of what is problematic here. Then trying to protect minors from potential danger does not mean taking away their free will or their ability to make their own choices.

@quiteStraightEdge
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26M

I don’t think that banning people below 18 will enlarge their safety. It will just push them to different platforms (that aim to use their users). I don’t see any more danger if someone uses Instagram or similar than this site. The problem lies in education of user (which I think young people are better and better with that as they grow up with technology (I hope)), not in slider that goes too low of what you prefer.

You can meet and feel unsafe with person at any age.

Systems have huge impact on behaviour. If Alovoa will make educating campaigns, and push wholesome message it will make much bigger change than your solution, that doesn’t address the problem (of using position amd force for own gain, and damage to others).

I will try to use metaphor here. Let’s assume that there is a person and a match (besides other things). If you teach that person how to use this match, they will be able to warm themselves but not burn themselves down. They may hurt their fingertips trying to find how long they can hold it, but something like that you can just shake off. If you tie their hands but leave the match on the table and leave them, because of abrupt movements they may succeed in lighting it up (or get mad while trying to do that) but then fleemsy movements may lead to fire, and setting themselves ablaze. If you take that match from them, and leave the whole table still flooded in other matches, the result will be similar to above.

I really don’t like people thinking for others and assuming everything, and getting hostile because of that. The problem layes in education and teaching, not in freedom. Technology brings us tools. There is nothing wrong in knife while you are cutting carrot, but there is something horrible wrong if you stab somone with it on purpose. Still the problem isn’t in the act itself, but why that happend; what lead to that situation and how can it be prevented in the future.

@Reaton
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16M

I get and hear what you’re saying, however I do not agree with everything as I still believe in my previous statements.

Also I’m really not hostile, I gave my arguments respectfully. As for assuming “everything” we are both doing it, just not in the same way.

@quiteStraightEdge
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26M

I see. I stan by my words also :)

Hostile, in like that you are not going to use it and posting comments about it being bad in some way. You are not neutral towards it, and not for it, so you are against it (I admit that binary thinking here isn’t 100% precise).

@quiteStraightEdge
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-36M

Because You find it unethicall does mean that everyone thinks that? Or it is that? And why necesarly adult would meet with minor?

Here You see an quite unicorn project aiming to do good, and you find one detail that for you isn’t right, that shouldn’t concern you if you aren’t interested in it.

Yeah, if you don’t like something you don’t have to use it. I just find your arguments quite narrow minded, and focusing on one possible outcome out of thosuands.

I think this project is amazing, considering all of the toxic and human exploiting apps that exists.

@Reaton
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36M

Because You find it unethicall does mean that everyone thinks that? Or it is that? And why necesarly adult would meet with minor?

See my answer to your other comment.


Here You see an quite unicorn project aiming to do good, and you find one detail that for you isn’t right, that shouldn’t concern you if you aren’t interested in it.

Are you implying that the reason I am concerned about the potential risk of allowing adults to meet minors is because I myself am interested in minors? If so, I do not appreciate this fallacious insinuation at all.


I think this project is amazing, considering all of the toxic and human exploiting apps that exists.

See my answer to your other comment.

@seahorse
creator
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46M

Someone opened an issue about the age restriction here. I guess minors can’t find adults and vice versa?

@seahorse
creator
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36M

Yeah, I have no idea why they set it to 16.

Werwolf
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136M

“Privately” and sign up with Google and Facebook are opposites statements

poVoq
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66M

These are optional, so it is really nothing that effects the privacy of users who do not chose to use it.

@Echedenyan
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26M

I think that is better not giving support to nonfree shit.

Would be better allowing to use Mastodon/Pleroma/Misskey account or even OpenID.

Bilb!
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Using Google and Facebook as oauth providers doesn’t mean sharing anything important with Google or Facebook other than “This user requested authentication for this client (Alovoa).” I wouldn’t use it personally because I minimize my use of these companies as much as possible, but it’s probably fine by most people’s standards in addition to being convenient. Especially since they presumably already have and use their google/facebook accounts.

@tronk
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116M

This is a great space for FLOSS and federated software to fulfill a need.

What I mean is that Tinder and otherwise for-profit software uses drop feeds, so they deliberately give you only a bit of what you like in your feeds. How do they know what you like? The same way Facebook (via Facebook.com, Instagram, and WhatsApp) and all other for-profit social media companies do: they collect absurd amounts of data from you based on your behavior on the platforms. They then build predictive models to know what to show you, when to notify you, how to ask for money in the forms of “boosts” or “unlimited superlikes”. For example, “you found some attractive people today but didn’t kick it off with anyone just yet? Well, come back! Tomorrow we’ll send you a notification telling you someone liked you! Oh, you could also just boost your profile by paying.”

In effect, this keeps you on the verge of finding someone you would really kick off with quickly. This doesn’t have to be the case at all given what we know of how humans develop relationships and how algorithms can be used to arrive at clear-cut goals.

So FLOSS and federated software has the opportunity to actually define those algorithms in such a way as to satisfy people, either in a hookup-y sense or a relationship sense. That incentive, and not the one to maximize engagement and profits, is what could make stuff like Alovoa flourish.

I do think any FLOSS (and federated) dating app should leverage this as a marketing point: people are really kicking it off quickly.

@wiki_me
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16M

What I mean is that Tinder and otherwise for-profit software uses drop feeds, so they deliberately give you only a bit of what you like in your feeds.

Sadly i am not really seeing open source social media platforms giving you that advantage, they don’t have more filtering options and ways to hunt down the content you want, a exception might be wordpress, where you can have a RSS feed for whatever category you want (so i don’t have to follow the whole blog, just some topic i am interested in).

@libre_warrior
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36M

Is this federated?

Travis Skaalgard
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36M

It does not appear so.

poVoq
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3
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6M

Maybe the Tinder like category of apps (which this seems to fall under) should rather be called something like “hook-up apps”? Or am I being old-fashioned for not thinking this can be called “dating”?

Travis Skaalgard
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Tinder has this reputation of being for hooking up, but if you get on there, it’s 90% suburban wine moms looking for husbands, sex workers advertising their OnlyFans or soliciting clients. At least as a guy, Tinder is not the place to go if you want a casual hookup, at all.

@seahorse
creator
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16M

I’ve had much better success on Bumble for relationships at least.

@quiteStraightEdge
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36M

Well. It depends on many factors. It depends what people do after they meet with this new relation.

poVoq
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26M

But is the app still involved then?

@quiteStraightEdge
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36M

Hm, I would call it dating app. It is like any other form of organised meetings for single people (I guess, never been to one). Real relations come out of it (I know such couples), as well as one night stands (been there). I don’t know definition of word hook up, but I think it mainly relates to one night stands.

@Evelyn
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deleted by creator

@AgreeableLandscape
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6
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Reminder to please not use “autism” as a joke/meme to imply “weird”, “nerdy” or “unusual”. It’s disrespectful to people with actual autism.

@Evelyn
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26M

I’m joking about myself. I wasn’t joking about people with autism, this is your usual self-deprecating humor.

@AgreeableLandscape
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Still, please remove that reference. It’s against the rules. Thanks.

@quiteStraightEdge
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46M

Why go there to just show it off? C’mon lets get crazy here and now. Don’t let social norms strangle your madness.

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