SACRAMENTO, CA—Engaged in a heated discussion with friends Thursday, local man Evan Staub was reportedly unaware that the long-held opinion he was voicing about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict had been retained verbatim from a 1997 Miss America contestant’s answer to a pageant interview question. “Sadly, there’s been quite a bit of unrest in that part of the world, and it’s gone on for far too long,” Staub said over beers at the Hilltop Tavern, sounding confident and appearing oblivious to the fact that he was speaking the exact same words used by Shani Nielsen, 1997’s Miss Indiana, when she was asked about bringing peace to the Middle East—her response having remained fully intact within his unconscious for more than 20 years. “I believe the two sides need to come together and learn to understand each other, because at the end of the day, we’re all human beings. We all must find a way to get along, and when we disagree, it’s important to sit down and work things out—not just by talking, but by listening. And while it may seem like a small thing, I also believe that if everyone smiled more, the world would be a better place.” At press time, reports confirmed Staub had launched into a rendition of “In His Eyes” from the Broadway musical Jekyll & Hide, the same song Nielsen performed for the 1997 pageant’s talent competition.
Post politically charged comedy here, but be respectful!