Let’s roll through a hypothetical together. You’re giving a big end-of-the-year report to the big heads of your company. If things go well you’re in line for a huge raise, if you fumble it, you risk getting fired.

Needless to say, you’re nervous. Absolutely shitting bricks. You’ve prepared the report for the past two weeks, everything will go well if you can just get through this presentation.

The day arrives. You do less work than usual that day, all you can think of is that presentation you have to give at the end of the day. The clock hits 4:30, you get called in. You get up in front of EVERYBODY. Before you speak a single syllable you already feel your palms starting to sweat.

To cool your nerves you remember the old advice “just picture everyone in their underwear”. What happens next? You scan your eyes around the room and you lock eyes on a work crush.

Oh no.

OH NO!

the complicated chain of events that ultimately results in a physiological response of the body begins. But surely, since you’re giving a presentation, your body knows better than to pop a boner, right?

But the body doesn’t listen. It doesn’t care that the company had a 10% increase in sales in Q4, and the new company rollout of email tracking increased productivity by 27.4% . The body is experiencing an increase of a differing sort.

Now, reanalyze the situation. You are a different person currently. You are still in front of everyone giving a presentation, but what-ho? You’re now freaking hard.

In front of your boss. And your boss’s boss. And your coworkers.

I can already hear the comments. “Dude, just stuff your junk between the band of your pants/briefs, this is a non-issue”. But what if your junk is a bit bigger or smaller than what can be stuffed? In other words, what of the briefs band trick doesn’t work? Well, I guess your done for huh. You just gotta stand there, at full mass for what, 20 minutes? 30 minutes? an hour?

Seriously, the advice to “imagine everyone in their underwear” is the truest form of troll advice.