I have almost no friends, and I don’t get much out of the friends I have. We don’t share many of the same hobbies and we all live pretty far apart. Some are also pretty right wing, and me being a closeted trans woman, makes me fear that I will lose them if I come out.

I want to go to meetings of my party (or protests where my party is present) so I can build connections with people who I share the same worldview with but have only been able to go a couple of times and most of the time when there’s a meeting or protest I am busy with something else.

When it comes to going out, it sucks going to concerts on your own, because no one else around you wants to go. I do have one friend with whom I go to concerts sometimes, but that’s when he asks me to join him. When it comes to my concerts, it’s musicians he doesn’t like. I could ask my parents or my brother but they also don’t always like the musicians I like. I just want to a have a steady group of friends so there’s always someone available to do fun stuff with together, whether that be going to a concert, clubbing, sport events, etc. If one friend can’t go or doesn’t want to, I can always ask another friend. I don’t have that privilege right now.

At least I am now able to go out alone, in the past I would’ve just stayed at home, but having to go out alone still hurts. And in some cases I still don’t want to go out alone. I don’t want to go to a bar alone for example.

And it’s not like I want a best friend, all I want is some extra friends. This situation right now is making me feel more alone and it’s hard to stay positive.