Asked a question elsewhere about race. I got an answers, but 2 users read wayyyyy to much into it and got upset. For those 2 users, the vibe kinda seemed like they don’t want certain questions to be asked.

Maybe a hot take, but i think people should be encouraged to ask questions, thought as long as they’re not like sealioning or whatnot. But it could be difficult to determine good faith questions.

  • Gaywallet (they/it)
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    fedilink
    42 years ago

    Without more information on how you posed the question and the community in which you posed the question it’s very difficult to provide advice.

    I think the most important considerations are as follows:

    1. Do your research first - if the question you’re asking is something that has been asked of the minority groups plenty of times before or is a question which I can find discussions about on the internet, or books which can be checked out of the library or downloaded easily, do not ask the question. Review this material first. If you’ve read this material and still have a question, that’s good, and okay, but many people who ask these kinds of questions do not put in significant effort first and asking a minority to answer your question is adding a burden to their already burdensome life - it is unfair of you to ask more from them without putting in the effort yourself first.

    2. Read the rules of the space first and participate for awhile before asking whether it’s okay to ask the question. Unless you’ve explicitly seen other people asking the same kinds of questions and not receiving push back for it, you should make sure it’s okay to ask the question in this space. The space may exist for other reasons, such as escaping these kinds of question and you should respect that.

    3. As others have mentioned, when asking the question make sure to explain your viewpoint. Many people ask minorities questions who are sealioning, as you mentioned, but also some ask questions but aren’t willing to step aside and listen to the answer. By prefacing your question with an explicit comment of support first and acknowledging your biases you’re helping others to understand that you’re actually looking to learn, rather than to grandstand.

    4. Even with all of the above considerations there will be people who will be upset with you asking questions of them. You need to be willing to give these people the space they need and apologize where it’s appropriate in a curt manner where you focus the feelings and needs of others. At the end of the day you must recognize that you could be causing harm regardless of how hard you try and you need to weigh that against the importance of getting this question answered. Generally speaking, the answer already exists out there in some written form, it may just be difficult to find. The less willing you are to unintentionally hurt others the more time you should put into trying to find that answer yourself before asking it of others.